Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
