Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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