why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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