The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
