she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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