i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
