it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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