i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
My brain says no but my pants say off.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
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