dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
