Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
