I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
