and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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