just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
