Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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