I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
