you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
