she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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