Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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