I'm drive I can fine osifer
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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