Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
