Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize