is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
