and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
