Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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