I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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