im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize