I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
