I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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