ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
