some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
