also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
