at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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