I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
