i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
