i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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