I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
