my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize