She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
