everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
