last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
