Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
