I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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