I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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