What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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