I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
The Olympian is in my bed
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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