I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
