did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize