I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
