been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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