You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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