there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize