I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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