last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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