We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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