There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
