I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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