okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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