But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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