I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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