it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Randomize
