good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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