I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
