He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
